“The person who takes medicine must recover twice: once from the disease and once from the medicine.”

I suspect when the writers penned these lines for Bullet Tooth Tony (one of the all time great characters of British Cinema by the way) they were using it as a metaphor for the trials and tribulations of Prostate Cancer Treatments. I really am beginning to wonder whether the constant fatigue, frequent hot flushes, anatomical changes and other side effects from the treatments I’m having, and are about to have, are worthwhile, given the hoped for low bar outcomes. At the end of the day, the Specialists are looking only to extend my life, and I truly am grateful for their efforts, but with no cure available, I often find myself wondering whether my life would be more productive had I never taken that first blood test back in May. Shrinking away from Life wasn’t in my playbook before that PSA Result.

William Osler, a founding Professor of John Hopkins Hospital, is credited with making the first reference to “the cure being worse than the disease” approximately 120 years ago. Prior to the presence of Rupert being exposed, my life was going along okay. I was on Medications for elevated Cholesterol and Blood Pressure along with assistance for Depression but life was generally good. I was able to exercise regularly, lift reasonably heavy weights for an old bloke, enjoy my Grandchildren and throw pretty decent baseball batting practice whenever I was called upon. Like most men my age, my sleep would be disrupted by occasionally having to get up to take a leak but that was about the extent of issues in my life. Ignorance of Rupert was bliss. Dealing with him now that I know he’s there, really is a pain in the arse.

The time line of my visits to Specialists makes for interesting reading (or at least I think it does) and may be instructive for anyone else facing a Prostate Cancer diagnosis.

November 4th was when the Urologist confirmed after a Biopsy, a Cat Scan, an Ultrasound, an MRI and a Tc-PMCA Scan that Rupert was Stage 4, Grade Group 5 Prostate Cancer and was inoperable. The Urology Department of The Canberra Hospital were to review all the collected information at their weekly meeting and develop a Treatment Plan. I would then meet again with the Urologist to go over the Department’s recommended strategy.

December 5th was when I met again with the Urologist. The intention was that I would commence Combination therapy utilizing Hormone Therapy in conjunction with Radiation Therapy. The Hormone Therapy was to begin immediately with a 3 month implant of Zoladex and the Radiotherapy was to begin as quickly as possible. An internal request for an appointment ASAP with the Radiologist Specialist was initiated that day with a view to beginning Radiotherapy. I had my first Hormone Implant the next day.

December 8th I received a phone call from the Radiology department informing me that Radiation treatment could not commence until I’d had 6 months of the Hormone Therapy and they scheduled an information meeting with the Radiology Specialist for January.

January 18 (two days ago) I met with the Canberra Hospital Radiology Specialist. After reviewing all my available information, plans were once again amended. After reviewing the scans an intense spot of cancer was located close to the rectum wall and it was determined that targeted Radiation aimed in that area ran a substantial risk of burning through the rectum wall which isn’t a particularly desirable outcome😄. I am now waiting an appointment with the Oncology Department to commence 9 weeks of Chemotherapy which hopefully will shrink the cancer in the proximity of the rectum so that I can then begin Radiotherapy. Hopefully the Radiotherapy will be able to commence around June and will be delivered 5 days per week for 7 weeks. The Radiation will be targeted at the areas of the Prostate and Lymph nodes where Rupert is hanging out and apparently they will tattoo crosses on the areas they will focusing on. I intend using the Tattooist who did my son’s extensive artwork to place images of small baseballs and little horses for the Radiologist to aim at instead of having boring crosses all over my body. It will be a Father – Son bonding experience😄. One additional bit of information I received at this meeting was that the Lymph Nodes in my chest have been infected and that there is a genuine chance Rupert has already metastasised into my bones even though it isn’t yet apparent on the scans. My radiation treatment when it eventually begins in around 6 months was described as “palliative intent radiotherapy”. Any time the term “palliative” enters discussions, it is a bit of a gut punch.

I did ask the Radiology Specialist on Wednesday what the chances were of me still being around in 12 months. Her reply was “Why? What have you got on in 12 months?” Her reply actually made me laugh out loud that I would need a reason for wanting to live another 12 months. She then said that she was pretty confident she’d be able to give me at least another year. “Pretty confident”of getting 12 months is a lot better than the “28% chance of lasting a year” I was initially given when Rupert’s presence was fist confirmed. I’m a lot happier with those odds than the original ones.

I will continue my “Horse Tales” in next week’s Blog but I thought recording the above developments was important. My illness is my journey and no matter how much you care about my travails, it is up to me alone to cope as best as I can. There is no doubt however, that knowing a number of people think enough of me to spend a few minutes each week reading my Blog does give me strength. Thank you❤️❤️