GET IN MY BELLY

I’m not sure if the injecting Nurse mistook me for for a Mike Myers character but it sounded suspiciously like he might have. As he showed me the needle that contained my first Hormone treatment, he informed me that it was easier to insert the implant when the patient had a layer of fat around their waist. If I’m “Fat Bastard” then he’s a “Cheeky Bastard”.😄

And as for the needle, it probably would have been better if he hadn’t proudly shown me how big it was before administering the treatment. I’ve seen horses try to savage Veterinarians when they’ve caught sight of smaller syringes than this one! I guess you need a big needle to inject 3 months worth of a Chemically Castrating drug into someone’s tummy.😄

As you’ve probably gathered, my visit to the Urologist on Monday, led to me commencing immediate Hormone Therapy. The Specialist provided a bit more information on my buddy Rupert. It seems that he is a particularly aggressive guest and he’s most likely taken up residence in my pelvic wall in addition to living in my prostate and pelvic lymph nodes. He made it clear, that an aggressive Rupert would be countered with aggressive treatments.

First up, I was to receive an implant of Zoladex 10.8mg at my GP’s Surgery from the aforementioned Cheeky Bastard. The implant delivers a constant dose of Testosterone removing Hormone into my system for the next 3 months. This implant was placed into my right side and the next one goes in on the left hand side in 3 months time.

Some of the anticipated side effects of the Zoladex bear a striking resemblance to Rupert’s symptoms and some are uniquely Hormone induced: decreased libido, decrease in bone density, erectile dysfunction, swollen and tender breasts, hot flushes, and pins & needles are all a good chance to occur.

Other common side effects include rashes, incontinence, bone pain, increased weight and mood swings.

I can’t say I had any of these likely intrusions on my Christmas wish list but if they are the necessary price to slow Rupert down, then I’ll happily put up with them.

In addition to the Hormone Therapy, I will now be commencing a course of Radiotherapy where Rupert will be bombarded with Radiation every day for between four and eight weeks. The daily bouts of Radiation Therapy will be administered as an outpatient at the Hospital and will involve the usual suspects arriving as side effects: an increased need to pee especially at night, a burning sensation while peeing, a slower stream than now (I’m not sure that is even possible) and more erectile dysfunction.

This combined Hormone Therapy and Radiation Therapy is seen as the best approach at this stage so I’ll give it a crack.

As the Hormone Implant was being injected it crossed my mind that Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire all did pretty well when they were given hormones so maybe I’ll be capable of hitting more Home Runs as the treatment cuts in. Admittedly their Hormones built massive strength and mine will leave me as weak as a kitten but who knows – just maybe my Hormones will see me hit a Home Run of a different nature and Rupert will be slowed down.

That’s about it for today’s installment. Covid is once again raging out of control so put on those N95 masks whenever you’re in a crowded, indoor space and enjoy today – tomorrow isn’t guaranteed to any of us.