“Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife” Franz Schubert

The last 24 hours have highlighted the difficulties of living with Rupert. Swings and roundabouts, snakes and ladders, one step forward and two steps backwards, etc. I had a CAT Scan and a PET Bone Scan on Thursday and received the CAT Scan report the same day and the PET Scan Report this morning. I went to bed last night and had a reasonable sleep after receiving the CAT Scan Report thinking things might have stabilized a bit but this morning’s PET Scan Report ensured that I won’t sleep as well tonight. The lyrics penned by that great wordsmith and legendary Grand Final performer, Meatloaf, sum things up pretty well:

Last night, I thought I was gonna make it (“it” being getting through to Christmas 🎄) – today not so much. Looks now like I might be tagged out before I get to Home plate.⚾️

I’m pretty sure “uptake in the L5 vertebra” isn’t a good thing. I see the Oncologist next Thursday – so many Specialists, so little time – and then I will know a bit more for next week’s post. The CAT Scan result suggested that the Testosterone busting Hormone Therapy might be doing its job and that Radiotherapy might be a live option in a few months. The fatigue and the fucking hot flushes might be worthwhile after all but the PET Scan report brought me back to earth. The confirmation that Rupert had escaped into my spine shouldn’t have been a surprise. The Radiology Specialist had cautioned me in January that the spread from the Lymph Nodes to the bones may have already occurred and I guess she actually knew what she was talking about. The Results hit me like a 90mph Fast Ball to the belly, proving conclusively that no matter how prepared you are for bad news it can still knock you down.

Anyway, enough of that. Today I thought I would concentrate on my life with Robyn, and what a life it’s been. When we married in 1976, I’m pretty sure she thought she was getting a Chartered Accountant as a life partner. I hope she never minded me tricking her 47 years ago!😄 The one thing we have always agreed upon, is that were we to be hit by a bus tomorrow, we would have no regrets about things left undone. We’ve had a full life together.

I went to an “all boys” Technical School in Bendigo and Robyn attended an “all girls” High School. In 1969, the powers that be, decided it would be a fine idea to have a dance combining the senior years of both schools. I have no idea why, but for some reason Robyn asked me to dance. If she hadn’t taken the lead, I would probably still be standing in the corner, to shy to approach anyone of the fairer sex. I’m lucky she wasn’t as sheepish as I was.

A couple of months later, my Bendigo Baseball Club – the mighty Falcons – were having their annual Presentation Day at Axedale near Bendigo and I summoned the courage to invite Robyn as my plus one. I guess she didn’t hate my company and 7 years later we were married. The wedding was a couple of months after we won the A Grade Cricket Premiership in Bendigo and, as you do, I invited the entire Team to celebrate the day with us. Robyn didn’t complain. It was a great day and the following afternoon we attended an Essendon Baseball Club game as our “honeymoon” before returning to our jobs the next day. Once again, Robyn didn’t complain. We’ve had our ups and downs over the ensuing 47 years but through them all, Robyn has stuck by me. The last 10 years with me suffering from debilitating depression, Trigeminal Neuralgia and now with Rupert having moved in, have been far from easy for her, but she’s still here. She’s probably had to be more of a Carer than a wife during those times but still she never complained. I didn’t deserve her.

When John and Megan were growing up Robyn assumed the role of almost a single parent in caring for them. In those days most the Trots meetings were at night and I spent a lot of time on the road. Robyn chauffeured the kids to Tennis lessons, Baseball training and games, Parties, etc. She walked the kids to school when they were little and picked them up when the school day was done. I’m not sure I was much of a Dad but Robyn made a great Mum. She had the patience of Job and I honestly can’t remember her ever blowing up at Megan or John. Unfortunately, I can’t say the same about myself. Most of my “blow ups” probably coincided with me having a losing run on the punt more so than anything the kids did.🤔

After doing a wonderful job, almost single handedly raising our two kids, she had a few years of being able to concentrate on herself before fate delivered her another kid just over 10 years ago. Our Grandson, Mitchell, decided he didn’t want to live with his mum anymore and was moving in with John. At that time, John was working long hours doing his best to establish a Baseball Practice Centre so once again Robyn had the role of bringing up a headstrong teenager, delivering him to Baseball Training every Tuesday and Thursday, preparing his meals, checking his homework, making sure he attended school and trying to mould him into a decent young man. How successful she was, is demonstrated by where Mitch finds himself today. I’m absolutely positive that without his Grandmother’s efforts, his life would be much different.

We moved to Canberra when our Grandson Robert was born and have been here now for nearly 9 years. The move has kept me sane with Robert and then Ainsley both being a delight to be around. It was important for my mental health that I got out of Melbourne but the relocation meant that Robyn had to leave behind her very good friends. Once again she didn’t complain. Not long after settling here, Mitchell decided he would like to live with us and that’s where he was for the next seven years until he moved in with his Girlfriend twelve months ago. The move proved great for Mitch signing a Professional Baseball Contract with the Philadelphia Phillies, being selected to represent Australia in Junior World Baseball Championships in Mexico, Columbia, Canada and Taiwan, graduating from High School with a decent Academic Record and now being in the second year of a double degree at Canberra University. He owes Robyn so, so much and I’m not sure he understands the multitude of sacrifices she made for him.

We’ve had a few moves in our 47 years. When we were first married we lived in a two bedroom flat in Darling Street, South Yarra. We could walk to our jobs in the City during the week and I could walk to the MCG at the weekend so the location was perfect (for me😄). Most Saturday nights I’d head off to Moonee Valley to do battle with the Bookies at the Red Hots or as Journalist Adrian Dunn used to call them “Thieves On Wheels” – cheeky bastard! I was basically a Mug Punter, a perfect caricature of the type of bettor that I made a living off for over 30 years. Anyone who tries to tell you that they could win on the punt in those days working a full time job during the week and going to the track on Saturday is being disingenuous. There was no SkyChannel showing the races during the week so you basically did your Form listening to Country races on the radio during the week and studying the Racing Pages of the Sun on Saturday morning. Breaking even on the punt was something of an achievement. Anyway, one Saturday night in 1979, I won approximately $4,000 at the Valley coupling up four winners with the on course Doubles Bookmaker Jim Hynes Senior. My win probably meant that old Jim only won a couple of thousand himself that night and might have meant his Son Jimmy had to limit himself to just a dozen Dim Sims on the way home instead of his customary three dozen🤣. Jimmy is one of my dearest friends and there just might be a bit of journalistic licence used in the Dim Sim tale but the big night on the punt ended with Robyn laying in bed throwing $50 bills in the air like Scrooge McDuck in his vault. If I am looking for something to cheer me up in the months that lie ahead that memory of Robyn lying in a bed of pineapples will do the job. We used that windfall as a deposit on our first home in Market Street, North Essendon. The house cost $32,500 and would be worth in excess of $1.5mill in todays outlandish Real Estate market.

Later that year I was offered a job managing a small Accounting Firm in Bendigo and we sold the North Essendon property to move back to our birthplace. It’s true what they say about, not being able to go home, and within 2 weeks I knew I’d made a terrible mistake in relocating. After a wasted couple of years in Bendigo we moved to Melton and remained there for about 20 years. The kids completed their Secondary School Education in Melton and Megan went on to University in Melbourne and John accepted a Scholarship to a College in Chicago primarily to play Baseball. Once again, all their achievements in life stem from the love and care Robyn showered upon them growing up. Their successes have been Robyn’s successes.

In the 80’s and 90’s we made numerous trips to the United States and for the 5 years ending in 2000, we travelled there each year to spend an extended period watching John play Minor League baseball. In 2001 we decided to holiday in Far North Queensland instead of in North America and flew in to Cairns on September 11th. That’s right, our first night in what became my favourite place on earth, was the night of the attack on the World Towers. We stayed in Palm Cove and at the end of our holiday, we bought a penthouse on the Golf Course there and spent 6 months each year in firstly Palm Cove and then in Port Douglas for the next ten years. Robyn flew up to inspect the Apartment and did all the negotiations for the purchase. Those ten years were the happiest times of my life. Things were pretty much perfect spending six months in Melbourne and six months in FNQ. We didn’t have a winter for ten years! One of my fondest memories of our time up North was Megan’s Wedding with the Wedding Service in the little church at Port Douglas and the reception across the road at our favourite Restaurant, Salsa. The mother of the bride was best on the ground that day.

In 2005 we decided a move to the City would be a good lifestyle choice and we found a 5 bedroom renovated warehouse in North Fitzroy. I was in the USA when the auction took place and once again Robyn inspected our potential new home and decided it was ideal. Again she completed the purchase without me setting eyes on the place. Maybe she missed her calling as a Real Estate speculator as she did a great job with those two buys.

The one constant throughout the time I’ve known Robyn has been her love of sewing. I had baseball to take me away from the pressure of gambling for a living and Robyn had her sewing and quilting to give her space away from the stress and tension of looking after me, two kids and then a grandkid. Her sewing skills are outstanding and she has wonderful friends that share her passion. After I’m gone, I can imagine her taking over my last little corner of our home to complete her sewing kingdom and more power to her. God knows she has earned the right to do just whatever she wants. She’s paid her dues. And she never complained.